Anxiety Driven

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Anxiety Driven is real, raw and uncut.  It is expression through creative writing and personal messages shared by MMA athlete Jens Pulver and creative writer Todd Smith.  Together, Jens and Todd have created a place to empty their heart and mind while living life with anxiety and depression.  Unified with a message to stop living in the dark and step into the light…knowing peace is attainable, it exists and will be achieved.  Welcome to “Anxiety Driven”.

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Weekly question

Oct 10

10/10/2012 2:02 PM  RssIcon

What does it mean to give anxiety and depression permission to exist in your life?




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Categories: Anxiety Driven

33 comment(s) so far...


Re: Weekly question

To me personally it means that you don't believe in yourself or the strength that you possess. Once I started believing in myself and believed I had the power to push through, I started to see some improvement.

By Michele Young on   10/10/2012 9:07 PM

Re: Weekly question

Hey Michele,

Believing in yourself is huge! I remember having to dig deep just to get my ass on bart to therapy. Sweating while my hands were shaking. I still had medicine running through me. I remember coming very close to getting off the train. But I slowed down my body and mind by self positive talk and breathing. I had to believe in myself. It started with me believing that I could live a normal life with anxiety and depression. What sort of improvement did you see?

By Todd W. Smith on   10/10/2012 9:16 PM

Re: Weekly question

Like you, I started believing that I could live a normal life and that I was ok. I didn't have the feeling all day every day as if nothing was going right and that I was doomed. I started thinking more positive thoughts instead of negative all the time. My husband helped me tremendously with that! I started enjoying my own presence more as well. A good quote that I came across and I think it helps as well... "Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free."
- Jim Morrison

By Michele on   10/10/2012 9:36 PM

Re: Weekly question

I'm stealing that quote. ;) Yes. A lot of what I learned was "Practice". I had to practice breathing. I had to practice self positive talk and even though anxiety and depression live in me today. It feels different knowing that I have tools to embrace it rather than fight it. The support of your husband is great! Nvr Fly Solo right! :)

By Todd W. Smith on   10/10/2012 9:49 PM

Re: Weekly question

To me it means to be closed up with a feeling of no where to go. Once i realize its there because i have let it be there i can usually start to make a forward walk toward feeling better the next day. As you can probably sympathize with sometimes the next day is even worse. Every minute is a struggle but the struggle is necessary to move forward. Every minute i try to move forward.

By spark on   10/12/2012 8:37 PM

Re: Weekly question

What up Spark,

Knowing and understanding that feeling is key. Knowing that it won't kill you. It can't take your life. That is a beautiful thing my friend. You hit it on the head when you said "Make a forward walk toward feeling better." You are making a decision to identify the feeling and even though it sucks and it feels like a ball of shit. We find a way to let it pass and breathe again. Good stuff brother. Keep it coming.

By Todd W. Smith on   10/12/2012 8:50 PM

Re: Weekly question

It's part of my being. As much as my anxiety and depression have set me back in life. It is a part of who I am. It is something I will never live without. Some people don't Have this burden... but I do. And I am stronger for it.
Some people can go through life with what seems like ease. Some people catch the breaks. Some people have genetic gifts, brilliant minds, or bodies like Greek gods. I have this. I have me. I have the demons, the bugs, the chemical imbalances, the sickness (depending on what "specialist" you talk to). I have it.

It is not a question of allowing it to exist in my life. It always will. It is a question of how I will let it AFFECT my life. Some days I swear its going to be the end of me. But, when I look back at where I've come. The things I've battled. The places my mind has taken me.... I embrace it. I embrace me. I love me, even with these issues.

To allow anxiety and depression to exist in me us human. To succeed despite them is superhuman.

I will be a superhero.

By jason richard on   10/15/2012 10:24 PM

Re: Weekly question

Jason,

So well put buddy. Everything about what you just wrote is "Gold". I love the word "embrace". When we can't fight it everyday of our lives. We "embrace it. Anxiety and depression drive my writing...turning what I use to view as a negative into a positive. If we are going to live with it for the rest of our lives...We might as well find ways to work with it. I appreciate you dropping in with some good thoughts. Right on my friend.

By Todd W. Smith on   10/15/2012 10:37 PM

Re: Weekly question

Daily, I am told by my brain that I am not good enough; that I can't do it. Deep down I know that I have serious potential, but my brain tells me I'm not good enough. I try to fight it... I haven't found how to embrace it yet.

By Brian on   11/1/2012 9:22 AM

Re: Weekly question

I know where you are in life Brian. Myself, Jens Jason...We are here for you my friend. It's a shitty feeling when self negative talk consumes your life and takes over. Learning to embrace the serious potential and allowing self positive talk to exist can be life changing. I can remember and still go through it today. I fill my head with so much pressure, I stare at myself in the mirror and see no self worth and begin to talk to myself. I begin to believe that I don't matter and it gets dark FAST! But then I remember that one word my oldest brother told me. I remember what my therapist told me. It's a powerful word and that word is STOP. Crazy right? But that's what I say to myself...Sometimes out loud. "Stop Todd". Change the course back to inspiration, love and making a difference with what you have. Just some thoughts Brian.... Like I said...We are here for you brother. #NvrFlySolo

Todd

By Todd W. Smith on   11/1/2012 11:48 AM

Re: Weekly question

Thanks Todd! The pressure I put on myself is hard to take a lot of times. I am usually my own worst enemy. I talk myself into thinking I am not worthy to be where I am at and I talk myself out of doing my best because of the negative thoughts. I tried your word "STOP" last night and it was seriously amazing! I was able to say STOP and get rid of the negative thoughts and then I talked myself up with postive words in my head and I was able to succeed in what I was doing. It's truly amazing how when simple things make sense, they can really help! Thanks guys for being there for so many of us. It is an awesome thing you're doing.

By Brian on   11/2/2012 6:25 AM

Re: Weekly question

I'm glad you tried it and had success Brian. Breathe positivity brother! Pay it forward and NVR FLY SOLO...

By Todd W. Smith on   11/2/2012 6:04 PM

Re: Weekly question

I have to thank Todd for motivating me to wean myself off the Xanex I've taken for the last 7 years for anxiety. I like to say that my "emotional body" battles major depression and anxiety because emotions don't make us who we are. Through lots of pranic healings, meditation, tibetin breathing techniques and mental physical exercises I no longer rely on the Xanex to "take the anxiety away." I just allow myself to "feel through it," if that makes sense, then let it pass. Just like a great dark cloud. It can't hang there forever. I gave myself permission to feel the pain, anxiety, depression, etc. Then I let it go. It's a long process, but it is what has helped me. Also, Jens has motivated me back into my training, which increases the levels of endorphins and seretonins, as well as gives me back a sense of enpowerment. Knowing there are others out there (atheletes, especially) who are going through the same thing makes me feel like I'm not alone anymore.
Thanks, guys! :)

By Michele Aden on   11/6/2012 9:30 PM

Re: Weekly question

Michele,

You. Are. An. Inspiration. #NvrFlySolo

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